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2 Last Things and A Happy New Year

It’s been a tumultuous year. In a good way and in a bad way. Good in the sense that I was always busy, meaning that I was never bored. Bad in the sense that I rode many emotional highs and lows, and I was often too busy to blog.


But not too busy to sample bottled Palmwine... *smdh*

But I’m here now at 19.52. Typing this on my phone, hoping it looks just as good on a PC.

I want to talk about two things.

First is what I call the “obligation of good manners” to one’s family. I was sounding off with one of my friends the other day and he said something along the lines of “If I can’t be comfortable and be myself at home with my family, then where can I be?” It was a pertinent question.

Home is where we relax, we chill, we let our hair down. It’s where we’re accepted for who we are. But too many times, it’s where many of us display behavior we wouldn’t be caught in in public.

We’re brought up to not disgrace our parents in public. But I think disgrace in private carries even more weight. I know people who are kind and solicitous in public to their friends and acquaintances and even strangers! But they are brash with their siblings. They are polite in public but at home, they are demanding.

We all do it to some extent. And the question is why? Why do we think the people who love us deserve to see our baser self while outsiders enjoy our better side? Who exactly should we be working harder to impress? I’m not saying that we should go home and be pretentious. But if we would be courteous enough to not dominate a conversation in public, for instance, we should definitely be able to lend an ear to a younger sibling’s opinion, no matter how nonsensical it might sound!

Moving on. How was 2012? Did you achieve everything you wanted to? I didn’t. Achieved some, yes. Fell woefully short on others, yes. If you’re feeling brave enough, you could share in the comments’ section, one of each. One thing you’re glad you achieved in 2012, and one thing you didn’t achieve that you’d hoped to. I’ll go first.
I’m glad I finally learnt to drive on the highway! Yay!
I’m sad I didn’t stick to my resolution to read one book a week. And I’m crushed I didn’t finish writing my book. No yay. (Yes, that’s 2 but it’s my blog ;-))

Et tu?


  1. Sir Farouk says

    I definitely get what you mean about being someone different at home. That topic almost makes me want to write a blog about it. With your permission that is. Its like when I m home I have to be this prim and proper hyper religious introverted person who is not hundred percent who I am. I can be outgoing and religious on occasion but not all the time. Basically, I pretend at home.

    Anyway, one thing I did achieve this year was finally get a job. One thing I didn’t achieve was find a serious gf on the path to marriage and so on but that might be due to self sabotage.

    Happy New Year in advance 🙂

    • Yes, Sir Farouk. You certainly may blog about it. I don’t mind in the least.

      Congrats on getting a job! Gosh, that’s so hard in the current clime. And hope you have better luck next year in finding someone you could marry.
      Happy new year!

  2. You’re so brave. I did my best to accomplish all – and even more than – I’d planned to at the beginning of the year. The things that didn’t work out were things I had no control over. And since I’m practising putting a stop-loss on my worries, I shall not brood over the things that didn’t work out. I will count my blessings and work harder.

  3. Balanced write up, as usual. It pricked my conscience in some way….Most importantly I’m glad I did achieve goal to strengthen relationship with my GF.
    I know I fell short in my exercise plan, but hey I’m still alive!
    Happy new year in advance…and hope to attend your book launch in 2013!

  4. This year has had its ups and downs but it was a good year. I got my second degree this year (yay me) and unlike you I still can’t drive on the highway *sadface*

    • Congrats on the 2nd degree! I should get mine next year, by God’s grace. Highway driving, I just imagine I’m in a Fast & Furious movie 😀

  5. Family is beautiful (should be anyway). I totally agree that you should treat them best for as long as you’re able. Of course, let’s not forget that at this stage of our lives, there’s also the family we shall be creating and building (if we haven’t already), so spouses and children should be included beside siblings and parents.

    This year, I’m glad I achieved romantic fulfillment, permanently by God’s grace. I’m sad I didn’t achieve any of three things: Travelling out of the country, acquiring my first car or moving apartments. With God’s grace, I aim to achieve all three in the coming year.

    • Yup, I actually meant family as in spouses and children too. But I just kept using siblings as examples. May God bless your dreams with success!

  6. Its like you to get me thinking about pertinent issues.
    I think its important how we treat our families because we can always count on their love!

    This year,I took that long trip I always wanted to, I gratuated and got a job.

    Unfortunately, I didnt read or write as much as I would have liked to.

  7. dicey says

    I haven’t been able to do my Read a Book every Month…U wanna read a book every week??? Whao! U r inspiring! Well this year I have been able to achieve lotta things….but they were more all about God… Got 4 top class job offers none were Oil&Gas though, Gave more, Got a 4 rating over 5 in my MT program was d only 1 with a 4…Became a Millionaire….Got an amazing GF….the list is endless…2012 has set the standard for coming years!
    Funny how we unknowingly act different at home as to when we r out! Lesson I have learnt from my 20-sumtin years on earth….after all d work, hustle and all…what u have left is Family…so hold them close to u!

    • Yay! 2012 was fantastic for you! Here’s a prayer that 2013 will be even more awesome!

      About the books, I need to read so I can write better. 🙂

  8. I “learned” how to swim this year but I didn’t get over my paranoia in 2012.

    • Nice! I’m learning a new swim style in 2013.

      About the paranoia, someone recently told me “It’s okay to be afraid, don’t fight it.” I guess when you can accept your fear, you can look beyond it. 🙂

  9. honestly, i love dominating my siblings, my friends and even my parents 🙂 i guess its one of those priviledges you get for being born first. Everyone dances to my tune. 🙂

    To answer your question, i guess we behave this way cos we are already used to family and good or bad they will still be there to tolerate the ugly behaviours.

    You wouldn’t want behave harshly to an outsider.

    These things are just natural.

    • Yes, the first child syndrome! Lol. I know this too well. But why should our family get harsh treatment we wouldn’t mete to outsiders? I think that’s unnatural.

  10. samuelib says

    I like the way you put it, ‘”Obligations of good manners” to one’s family’. That’s one thing I am desperately working on to improve. I know I have to. It is not enough to say I love my sister if I don’t treat her like I love her. Personally, I feel if charity begins not at home but outside of it, I am nothing but a fraud.

    I guess it is easy to blame it all on familiarity, but I’ve now come to realize it is all on me; familiarity is just a poor beautiful thing abused and battered. So I hope, as part of my resolution for this year and forever, to consciously and consistently treat my family truly as my loved ones.

    Of the things achieved in 2012, I am still standing ten feet tall as my woman’s man against all the odds and against the “bitch” the call “distance relationship”. She’s got her Masters now and by God she’d be coming back this month, eureka!

    As for what I didn’t achieve, according to how I see it, I’d like to think I am a work in progress, and some things require more than 365 days to attain. So I am good.

    To you Osemhen, I’d like to say thanks for “EurekaNaija”. You have been a great inspiration all through 2012.

    • I’m happy your long distance relationship is working okay. Many people think it’s an absolute no-no and it’s nice that you’ve defied the odds 🙂

      Yes, they are our loved ones! In the end, the least we can do is well…love them.

    • And thank you very much for being a regular here. You, and my other readers are the reason I shake off my laziness to blog 🙂

  11. Anita says

    It is your blog…. 😛
    I think i got over the ‘double personality” thing early…. When i realized i was beginning to carry some of those terrible behaviors outside the front door… I believe the principle at work was something like “the real you always comes out…” or something like that…
    Anyways… It served as a good lesson.
    I had a successful and enjoyable service year in 2012, that was one thing i achieved…
    But i regret not taking the bold step of forfeiting a salary job to do the Public Service Volunteering job my heart so yearned for… 🙁
    Still working up my guts for that one…
    Oh! I really did want to read the whole bible in a year… I stopped at Judges…

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