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My Dad's Will

Human Nature / Logo

Image by Ars Electronica via Flickr

I found this while searching for my birth certificate. My Dad can be pretty wry at times, but this just cracked us up. He wrote this in university, way before he met my Mum. Her name’s not Marianne, by the way. Or Elizabeth!

To my wife, Marianne, I leave her lover and knowledge that I wasn’t the fool she thought I was.

To my son, I leave the pleasure of earning a living. For twenty-five years, he thought the pleasure was solely mine. He was mistaken.

To my daughter, I leave N100,000. She will need it. The only piece of business her husband did was to marry her.

To my chauffeur, I leave my cars. He almost ruined them… and I want him to have the satisfaction of finishing the job.

…And upon the death of my wife, Marianne, the executors of my will should in no way bury her in her rightful place in the family vault next to me. I want to rest in peace.

To one Elizabeth Parker, whom through juvenile fondness I made my wife, without regard to family, fame and fortune, and who in return has not spared (most unjustly!) to accuse me of every conceivable crime regarding human nature, except highway robbery, I bequeath N50.


  1. hashim says

    hahaha..well so the prety sister gets the dough…apparently u were left with nothn..lool…and dnt claim ur being d eldest grl gets u d cash…its for the preetiest and we know who that is 😉

  2. Jubril says

    Dads will is cool, i will like to know how yours is gonna be now & will also like to know who the prettiest is…

  3. definately its a white man who died in nigeria….. y? a Nigerian man will not even bother living a note to that effect. he will simply smile and die…………… lol

  4. pf'llippe otaski says

    ur dad’s is will isnt much of a will…it more things he should hv done…it should be called ur dad’s SHOULD… plus…i guess all wives are a really pain the….lol

  5. Mallam Sawyerr says

    LNGKM!!! Your dad has a wonderful sense of humour…I see where you get it from…really great stuff…

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