Image by Ars Electronica via Flickr
I found this while searching for my birth certificate. My Dad can be pretty wry at times, but this just cracked us up. He wrote this in university, way before he met my Mum. Her name’s not Marianne, by the way. Or Elizabeth!
To my wife, Marianne, I leave her lover and knowledge that I wasn’t the fool she thought I was.
To my son, I leave the pleasure of earning a living. For twenty-five years, he thought the pleasure was solely mine. He was mistaken.
To my daughter, I leave N100,000. She will need it. The only piece of business her husband did was to marry her.
To my chauffeur, I leave my cars. He almost ruined them… and I want him to have the satisfaction of finishing the job.
…And upon the death of my wife, Marianne, the executors of my will should in no way bury her in her rightful place in the family vault next to me. I want to rest in peace.
To one Elizabeth Parker, whom through juvenile fondness I made my wife, without regard to family, fame and fortune, and who in return has not spared (most unjustly!) to accuse me of every conceivable crime regarding human nature, except highway robbery, I bequeath N50.